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...The
following letter was found in a boarding house in Romania in 1924.
Unfortunately, the first three people to read it inexplicably collapsed
with heart failure.
...The
fourth, who was Polish, survived long enough to transcribe the text,
and after burning the original and scattering the ashes, he too
expired.
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Vlasch
you swine!
Do
not write to me again!
You should die, you worthless pig's ass!
I will not renounce my curse no matter how much you beg.
Little Palush and Helena cry everynight for you to return
and I tell them you are burning in Hell.
May
Jesus spit on you!
Chutka
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The
following letter was found on the body of a German soldier.
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Dear
Sasha,
...Tomcha
and Vlasch visited the front last month. There is a strong
power within them, we all felt it. Vlasch took my hand and
suddenly I felt a sense of well being despite this hellish
war. Later, I realized my infestation of lice was completely
gone! Now, many weeks later, I am still louse free, yet all
my comrades are still tortured by the filthy vermin.
...Somehow,
I will survive this nightmare and return to you.
All
my love,
Gerhardt
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....Recently
discovered documents have verified that Tomcha & Vlasch were largely
responsible for the unofficial Christmas Truce of 1914 between
British and German soldiers in the northern sector of the Western
Front.
....The
following letter found on the body of a British soldier describes
the event.
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My Dearest Maggie,
...Yesterday
was Christmas and I missed you horribly. I trust all is
well at home. Has the roof been repaired? I do wish I was
there to take care of you and little Beatrice.
...The
weather has been frightful for these last two months. Our
trenches are everywhere thick with cold mud from the constant
rain and wet snow, and the stench that wafts in from the
battlefield cannot be described. Of course the Huns are
having a rough go as well.
...Then,
on Christmas Eve, in the midst of this half frozen hell,
you won't believe what happened! Before our eyes, Vlasch--the
gypsy musician we saw in Liverpool--hopped into our trench
like old Saint Nick and started playing and singing to cheer
the boys. What a chap!
...
Meanwhile, in the German trenches, we could hear Tomcha
doing the same! Then to our amazed ears, they began singing
duets in harmony across No Man's Land till the sun went
down.
...
On Christmas morning, the most exquisite frost had fallen
on the trees. As soon as Vlasch stirred he began singing
carols and Tomcha joined him in the distance. Then one of
our boys--a great tenor—joined in and then the Huns started
singing and soon we were all singing and crawling out of
our filthy holes and exchanging tobacco and chocolates and
drinking toasts!
...
We even played soccer! Imagine that!! I met a young chap
from Hamburg that brought me to mind of your cousin Edric.
...
All the while Tomcha and Vlasch sang and played like our
lives depended on it. They made up a song johnny-on-the-spot
about why we should throw down our weapons and mutiny and
let the generals and the politicians crawl around in this
bloody mud and fight their own damn war!!! We all cheered
and carried them around like heroes!!!
...That
was yesterday. As I write, we are shooting at each other
again, but why I don't know. I must go.
All
my love,
Nigel
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Sketch
attributed to Otto Dix upon which Bering based his painting.


detail
of the ubiquitous trench rat
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