EVERY HOUSE HAS GOT A LOUSE
AND THAT LOUSE MUST HAVE A SPOUSE

IF EVERY LICE HAS GOT A LICENCE
THEN EVERY LOUSE MUST HAVE A LOUSENCE
TO GROUSE TO THAT SPOUSE

LOUSE HAS SOME FRIENDS, NOT NICE, THEY’RE LICE
THEY GIVE HIM BED ADVICE, THE SPICE OF LICE

NOW, IF A LOUSE ON THE LOOSE
CHOSE TO CHOOSE NON-SPOUSAL AROUSAL
PROSECUTABLE CAROUSAL
THEN SAID LOUSE ON THE LOOSE
WOULD LOSE HIS HOUSE, HIS SPOUSE, HIS LICENCE, HIS LOUSENCE

HEY, HEY MR. LOUSE, HEY WAIT UP, I GOTS TO AX YOU SOMETHIN’
YO, LOUSEMAN (WHAT?)
I HEAR YOUR WIFE GIVES NICE LICE (YOU HEAR MY WIFE GIVES WHAT?)
I SAID I HEAR YOUR WIFE GIVES NICE LICE, HEH HEH HEH

OH YES SHE DOES: LICENCE TO WED EQUALS LICENCE TO BED AND HEADFEST

SO REMEMBER, IF YOUR LOUSEHOLD IS INFESTED
AND YOUR LOVELICE IS DEJECTED
CONSIDER THESE WORDS OF LOUSE, AND PARSE THEM TO YOUR SPOUSE

DON’T YOU KNOW THAT THINGS LOOK GOOD
INDEED THEY DOOD
DON’T YOU KNOW THAT THINGS ARE NICE
INDEED, SPLENDOOD

IPSO VIE DONUM LEMONUM, FACTO MAKUM LEMONATUM (REPEATS)

DADDY, DADDY, DADDY CAN I COME IN?
MOMMY SAYS THERE’S BLOOD COMING OUT OF THE FAUCETS AGAIN, DADDY
DADDY, PLEASE DON’T HURT MY BABY SHEEP DADDY, PLEASE

copyright 2007
Bering & Nawrot